Surrogate Dialogue

Among the alternative approaches that are being developed by domestic violence advocates, probably the most talked about is “restorative justice,” which brings together batterers and survivors in an attempt to prevent further abuse.

Some view restorative justice as an alternative to jail sentences or batterer programs -- others see it as a supplement. It’s controversial. There’s a great deal of apprehension about restorative justice. Particularly when it’s presented as an alternative to the criminal justice-based response that’s been established as a result of the determined efforts of the battered women’s movement.

Yesterday we had an opportunity to observe one variant of restorative justice, an approach called “surrogate dialogue.” In these dialogues, a carefully prepared survivor is paired with a carefully prepared batterer -- both strangers to each other until the day of the dialogue. They go into a room together, along with the facilitators who worked with them in advance. They both tell their stories. They ask each other questions. The idea is to help the survivor continue to heal, feel empowered and listen, and to allow the batterer to achieve perspective on what he’s done.

Cathryn Curley of the Safe Haven Shelter in Duluth and Terry Fawcett of Duluth’s probation department organized this dialogue. It’s their fourth. They imported the idea from Hillsboro, Oregon, where the concept was developed by two domestic violence advocates at the Domestic Violence Surrogate program. The dialogues seek to “ generate understanding between the victim and offender as to each other's views and attitudes, as well as focus on the many consequences of domestic violence.”

In a phone interview this afternoon, Curley told us about the survivor’s reaction to the dialogue experience. She told Curley: “It was so healing for me, because he actually had empathy for me. He wasn’t my abuser, but he is an abuser.” Curley is also involved in another aspect of restorative justice -- sentencing circles. In these sessions, the offenders sit in a circle with community members for a dialogue that serves as an extension of any sentence that is meted out by the courts.

Camera person Alex Horner taped yesterday’s dialogue -- the session lasted for more than three hours. Stay tuned -- in coming months, we expect to post partial excerpts and transcripts of yesterday dialogue.

A Response from Anne Paulle

I think that perhaps the greatest irony in regard to domestic violence is that victim blaming revolves around excoriating DV victims for believing batterers while persons responding to DV -- lawyers, judges, health care professionals, clergy neighbors, Chris Brown enthusiasts-believe batterers all the time.

"Empathy" is a fluid, catalytic emotion: Receiving it can feel like fresh mountain water to somebody who is dying of thirst-- and leave one wanting more. Battered women's support and empowerment groups are more substantive with far fewer dangers and no specter of manipulation at all. Batterers routinely manipulate empathy: Any battered women's support group from Manila to the South Bronx, Shaker Heights OH to Birmingham UK will confirm batterer empathy manipulations.... and the support group's validation does not hold dangers for DV survivors.

I think that the most universally quoted data--I do not know exactly where it started--is that "studies show" that DV victims return to batterers six to seven times. Restorative justice initiatives support this reunification based on the emotional power of empathy.

But make no mistake, when battered women, validated through the empathy of restorative justice, return to the men who frighten,dominate and abuse them, we will blame them anyway.

Anne Paulle
Chair, "Power and Control" Board of Advisers

Wrestling Against DV in CA

An immigrants' rights group in the San Fernando Valley has found an imaginative strategy for getting out the word about domestic violence, particularly against women who are vulnerable because of their immigration status: wrestling against domestic violence, literally.

The group, Hermadad Mexicana, based in Panorama City, sponsored Mexican wrestling matches as a way of bringing attention in the community to the issue. According to the the San Fernando Valley Sun:

Mexican wrestling is part comedic show and athletic prowess, with flashy outfits and names for characters. The open air matches held Sunday featured wrestlers called "Minute Men," formed by INS and other Mexican-hating fighters, who threw tortillas into the air and tried to burn a Mexican hat.

Facing them was Bandido and other immigrant defenders. But the main fight featured the true immigrant defender, "Super Mojado" (Super Wetback), a character that appeared last year after an immigration raid at a Van Nuys factory that ended with the detention of more than 100 undocumented workers.

"Super Mojado", whose identity is a secret, has been practicing the sport for 15 years, works in construction and has a mission to fight for the rights of immigrants, including women abused by their husbands.

"I try to help everybody and today we're fighting on behalf of women who are abused," he said during an interview previous to his match.

The matches are part of a broader community education effort which includes a focus on the aspects of VAWA that are of particular help to immigrants, including U-Visas, which provide work permits and a possible path to permanent residency for undocumented victims of domestic violence.

Our Board of Advisers

We're thrilled to announce that we've named our board of advisers. These 11 people have kindly offered to share their expertise with the project -- to look over our shoulders a bit as we complete the film and launch distribution and outreach.

The make up of the board reflects the scope of the film. Advisers come from our three primary locations: Duluth, MN; Baltimore, MD; and New York. The advisers are:

Cathryn Curley, Safe Haven Shelter

Ed Heisler, Community Education Coordinator, Safe Haven Shelter

Debra Holbrook, coordinator, forensic nursing, Mercy Medical Center, Baltimore, MD

Sally MacNichol, Director of Programs, Connect NYC

Tanya Macleod, Organizer, Voices of Women Organizing Project

Scott Miller, Domestic Abuse Intervention Project, coordinator of men’s' groups and coordinated community response.

Colleen Moore, Family Violence Response Program, Mercy Medical Center, Baltimore, MD

Anne Paulle (Board Chair), DV consultant; Adjunct Prof., Monroe College

Linda Riddle, Executive Director, Domestic Abuse Intervention Project

Ruth Smith, VIP Community Services, Bronx NY; Adjunct Prof, Monroe College

Evan Stark, Professor, School of Public Affairs and Administration, Rutgers-Newark.

Immigrants and Domestic Violence

The plight of immigrant women -- and particularly undocumented immigrant women -- who are victims of domestic violence is a critically important aspect of domestic violence in America. The huge influx of immigrants in recent decades has transformed many communities and brought to this country many women who are particularly vulnerable. The issue is made even more complex by different cultural traditions, including those where domestic violence is condoned.

We devoted yesterday to adding a major new immigrant character to our growing rough cut -- the important story of Ynocensia, an undocumented woman from Mexico who fled her husband (and a lifetime of abuse) and came to New York. A few months later, her husband showed up at her door, and the cycle continued. The story has a happy ending: the family eventually called the police, who intervened effectively. An order of protection ultimately protected Ynocensia from her husband. Now, tYnocensia has a work permit and is waiting for permanent residency -- with the help of Sanctuary for Families, she has applied for (and waits for), a U-Visa.

Thavi has been cutting away, and has made a major breakthrough with a strong new 20-minute version of the film. We'll be adding the Ynocensia footage over the weekend. Thavi, poor guy, has valiantly has moved on with his life, following his near miss at winning an Oscar for Best Documentary for his film, "The Betrayal." He vows to be back at the Academy within two years.

Linda Mills on Chris Brown

Linda Mills has been one of the more controversial figures in the domestic violence community. Her books have attracted a lot of attention, including an appearance for Mills on "Oprah." Mills, a professor and vice provost at NYU, has just been quoted in People with comments about the Chris Brown incident. Here's what Mills had to say:

But it's love, in all its complexities, that can often be the most powerful force for reconciliation for a battered woman. "They have insight into somebody in a way that none of us do," says Mills, who runs a program in Arizona that brings together couples with family members and a volunteer from the community to talk over what actually happened in a domestic-violence event. The process usually goes on for months. "The ideal might be that we can separate people who are in a violent relationship, but the problem is that that's not the reality," Mills says. "I address the reality, which is that people go back, and they're looking for avenues for the possibility of working through this issue like any other rupture in a relationship, working through this issue to the point where the violence could stop."

This is bound to provoke controversy in the domestic violence community. When Mills is given an opportunity in a mass-circulation publication to urge women in relationships with abusers to flee for safety, Mills instead speaks about working things out.

We interviewed Mills for "Power and Control" and have an excerpt from the interview on the film's main site. Some people in the DV community have objected to our including Mills in the film. It's tough for me, as the director, to face this criticism, because I have so much respect for the battered women's movement and people who work in domestic violence. But in the final analysis, I'm committed to presenting current significant ideas in domestic violence, and there's no question that Mills has had a high profile and considerable influence.

Looking forward to hearing from our readers on this one!

-- Peter Cohn

Stimulus Bill DV Victory

Considering talks of cuts in core domestic violence programs, the stimulus bill yields a legislative victory. The three vital programs funding shelters, advocacy programs and police programs have emerged stronger from the bill. What does that mean for domestic violence in America?

The promised funding comes in at around $400 million for abuse programs. The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) gets $300 million specifically for services, training, officers, and prosecutors (STOP) state formula grants; out of which, $50 million will be devoted to the (VAWA) transitional housing program. The Victims of Crime Act (VOCA) will see $100 million. A total of $4.4 million is being devoted to grants for fighting domestic violence. DC advocacy group NNEDV provides a succinct wrap up of the legislative outcome.

The Department of Justice sees $4 billion for grant funding to enhance state, local, and tribal law enforcement efforts, including the hiring of new police officers, to combat violence against women, and to fight internet crimes against children.

With past federal and state budget cuts, many victim services have suffered the consequences. Advocates have lost their jobs, even as the demand for domestic violence support services rise and resources faced peril. The final bill supports building on support for domestic violence victims along with encouraging economic self-sufficiency.
-- Sarah K. Grundy

Oscar Blues

Thavi's film, "The Betrayal," didn't win the Oscar it deserved. Not to disparage anyone else's work, but "Man on Wire" is a well made film about a narcissistic publicity stunt. As opposed to Thavi's work -- a complex, historical, autobiographical, artistic, political film unlike any other. From time to time I let my guard down and expect Hollywood will surprise us in some way. Once again, it didn't happen. Phillipe Petite confirmed my discomfort with "Man on Wire" with his ludicrous performance during the acceptance.
-- Peter Cohn

Family Justice Center in Duluth

Family Justice Centers offer a powerful service to victims of domestic violence. Under a single roof: lawyers, police, advocates and other services. While shooting the film, we spent a good deal of time in Brooklyn Family Justice center and also covered the opening of the Queens Family Justice Center, including a moving speech by Michael Bloomberg.

A Family Justice Center opened last month in Duluth, MN. Congratulations to Cathryn Curley, of the Safe Haven Shelter, whom we spoke to and spent time with in Duluth. Duluth has been ahead of the nation in just about everything else, so it's fitting that there also be a justice center there.

Nadine Meyer, an articulate and open DV survivor, has been helping get out the word about the FJC. She's interviewed in an article about the Center in the Duluth News Trib.